There was a pain in her chest, a thick lump in her throat that barely allowed for a breath to sneak by. It burned like fire, hot and cold at once and choking the life from her lungs. At once she was 15 years old all over again, only this time there weren't thugs beating down her front door as it happened. There was no one to blame, no revenge to be gained, and all she had left in the world was a grieving daughter. That was a pain she knew all too well. In twenty-some years she had no better advice to give on how to move past such pain.
She was soaked through, lungs still hoping for air as if they were still in the water instead of the relative safety of lifeboat. Anger coiled like a serpent in her stomach, stinging with bile at being told to leave the Griffon behind her. Her teeth chattered as she pressed them down, ground them in her frustration. It waxed and waned as she looked from the wreckage in the distance, to Paj'liara, and back again. And again. And again. She'd obeyed for this reason only.
" She placed a hand on Paj's arm in an attempt to comfort while shaking herself. Words didn't come though. What could she say when she couldn't claim to be grateful for her own safety, when she knew Paj wouldn't be either. If she could see his daughter at a distance, from the bow of the Griffon while she fought at Ben's side, perhaps then she could feel some gratitude. As it was she had a bottomless pit of anger to draw from and she was afraid to speak too many words for fear some of it would spill out.
Knowing he'd asked for this didn't make it better. She shook her head and tried, somewhat successfully to remember what she'd done before. Work, revenge, had fueled her when she'd lost her own father. If she could not feel gratitude now for her safety, she could at least finish the job she'd promised Ben to do. Distance from the breach and the Griffon was safe -- for now -- but it was not a guarantee of safety for long.
"We'll need another ship
," she said. Her voice was low and it scratched her throat to speak but it didn't break. As her mind turned to what needed to be done, she could feel the warmth in her chest giving way to the cold, to chill of an ocean breeze. "Another ship
." She nodded. "A crew, and you… Paj
." Her hand squeezed the woman's arm. "It's you and me now